I Always Thought It Was Linda Lovelace

Deep Throat has been identified. Whoop-di-do! There's bigger news... I'm done with my petition! And I'm going to start working soon! Hooray! Welcome back to the real world!

Isn't It Ironic, Don't You Think*

Irony for Today:
Tom DeLay lecturing anyone on what is "reckless disregard for the suffering initiated by recent tragedies and a great disservice to public discourse." (from CNN.com).

So apparently Tommy Boy didn't like his name being mentioned on Law & Order. Grow the fuck up Tommy... it's a TV show, and to be quite honest, it sounded pretty funny. Just because you have a permanent bug up your ass doesn't mean we can't laught about it.

Anyway, I'm still petitioning for Law Review. I'm a little nervous that I am either not going to get it done and/or my petition is going to suck, but I have a few days to finish it and polish it up, so knock on wood. And congrats to M&M Mini who had to be done with her petition by today¹, and who I am know incredibly jealous of. Her and the dude that told me he threw his away a week and a half ago... you guys suck!

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^*It's a little too ironic... and yeah I really do think...
¹We get two weeks from the day we pick it up, and Mini picked hers up several days before I picked up mine.

Can't Blog... Petitioning

Sorry for the radio silence as of late, but up until last Friday I was doing the "Exam Thing," and then on Friday night I was doing the "Drinking Heavily Thing," then on Saturday I was doing the "Why Did I Drink So Heavily Thing," then it was "Time To Write Onto Law Review Thing" (which Minnesota calls "The Petition Thing.") So I've been a bit busy reading 300 pages about some boring legal subject¹, and then I will be a bit busy writing about said boring subject. So I would expect to hear much from me for awhile. For my fellow journal-wanna-bes, Mike at Wings and Vodka has some advice².

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¹I'm not sure if mentioning it is an Honor Code violation that would immediately disqualify me from the petition.
²Oh Shit! How do you Bluebook a blog entry?! How about... Mike, Wings & Vodka, wingsandvodka.blogs.com/blog/2005/05/since_youve_bee.html, Accessed May 19, 2005.

The Messors Become The Messees

Here's a fun, and mean, thing to say to mess with people after an exam:

"Hey, What did you get for the third multiple choice question?"¹

I jokingly said this to a couple friends after my Friday exam (figuring they would get the joke right away), and one of them freaked out a little bit. "What multiple choice?!"

On the flip side, if you are on the receiving end of this little joke, there is a very easy and effective counter-attack. If you know someone is trying to freak you out with this type of question, without missing a beat and without any hint of a smile say:

" 'C,' How about you? And what about that True/False section? That was tough."

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¹Note: This obviously only messes with people if there is no multiple choice on the exam... otherwise, you're just asking what they got.

I Am Employable!

Exciting news today. Not only did I complete my second of four exams today, but I got a job offer! Not only that, but it is a paying gig! I haven't accepted it yet, but I am going to. I won't come right out and tell you who it is, but it is with the in-house council of a very large consumer products company here in Minnesota, and they Make Many Marvelous products. Ahem. Hooray! I'm happy! I'm not a complete loser! I may not be a winner, but at least I'm not a complete loser!

Waiting For The Sun

This post title serves a dual purpose:
1) My first final is tomorrow (in stupid Criminal Law... How can a subject that sounds like it would be so interesting be soooooo boring?), so I am starting the final trudge to the end of my first year of law school, after which the "sun" will emerge and I can (hopefully) enjoy the summer without the stress of school. That means more time with my wife and better time spent with my wife (not just "Oh hi. How was your day? Do you have time to watch 'The Apprentice' before you have to get back to studying? No? OK :( ")

2) What the heck happened to Summer... or Spring for that matter? 2 weeks ago it was almost 80 and we were all wearing shorts. Yesterday and today it was fricken' MAY and it snowed and it was coooold. I don't necessarily want awesome weather outside that I can't enjoy because I have to study, but that doesn't mean I want it to be snowing!

Arrrrrgh. I probably won't be posting much until late in the week after 1/2 my finals are done and I just don't care anymore. Have fun peoples. Peace out!

Don't Panic, But Ebert & Roeper Are Pretentious Douchebags*

I saw The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy last night, and then today I watched a TiVoed Ebert & Roeper today to see their review of it.

I loved the movie¹. I thought it was funny, and did a really good job of keeping the wit of the book. I also thought Sam Rockwell did a good job as a W-esque President of the Galaxy, and Alan Rickman did a great job as Marvin, the Paranoid Android, as did Warwick Davis (you know, Willow) who actually had to crawl within the body suit of the robot.

Maybe they are good at reviewing dramas, but I am now convinced that Ebert & Roeper wouldn't know a good comedy if it bit them on their left nut², as the idiots gave Hitchhiker's Guide 2 thumbs down. I don't know why I keep watching these pricks. They never like funny movies unless they are cute enough, they never like action movies unless they have some deep, underlying meaning, and they never like anything that you might actually have to think about (instead of just pretend like you are thinking by saying how "interesting" a movie is). I'm betting these morons would have given bad reviews to Monty Python and The Holy Grail because it was too silly, Star Wars because it was trying to fuse Science Fiction and Fantasy, and Gone With the Wind because Scarlett O'Hara was too full of herself and Rhett Butler's hair was too greasy.

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* This is NOT news.
¹ I should mention that I have read the first book in the Hitchhiker's Guide series and enjoyed it, which may have influenced my review... but I still stand by my assertion that this is a funny movie.
² Which, incidentally, would be hysterically funny.