Monday, March 05, 2007

No More TORT... *Sigh*

My second, and last, year of T.O.R.T. ended Saturday after our command performance at the Pantages. As predicted, it was funny, transcendant, and utterly awesome-gasmic. Here is a summary of my favorite moments:

- Anna Pia saying "Frankenlaw, I hear you've got a huuuuuge" [cut off]
- That Mummy, damn he was mesmerizing
- Walter Mondale going off script and getting as big of a laugh as anyone in the show
- The opening medly, which included (among many other great lyrics) "I wish I'd gone to Business School... Then I could be a C.E.O." (to the tune of Jesse's Girl)
- The "Mondale Bash" song... mostly because of the Mummy, did you see his sweet moves?
- "Maybe if he got some he wouldn't be so cranky!"
- Three words: Judith T. Younger
- The Mondale Bash scene, i.e. the one with "Law Students Cannot Dance" (to Time Warp) - that Mummy can sure do a pelvic thrust
- "You can be my Co-Dean anytime." "Bullshit! You can be mine."
- Nate's (i.e. Dr. Frankenlaw's) hair getting progessively crazier
- Seeing someone sing "Sympathy For the Devil" in vampire make-up at a dive karaoke bar in Nordeast
- A mob scene with plastic pitchforks
- The fog machine, and the "Ooooooo... fog machine" reaction it got from T.O.R.T. alumni
- Carmen (Igor) singing "My hump, my hump, my hump... my freakish... ugly... hu-u-u-ump"
- Performing in a theater with actual dressing rooms, instead of the cubby holes at the St. Paul Student Center
- That sexy Mummy, who got more laughs per line than any other character (granted The Mummy had exactly Zero lines, and got one laugh for waving, so the laughs per line = infinity)
- The thrill/panic of coming out on stage, seeing 700+ pairs of eyes watching you (and over 1000 pairs of eyes on Saturday), and thinking "Holy shit... that's a lot of people! It would be really embarrassing to trip right now."
- The foreign exchange students, which include the Wolfperson, Dr. Nikolai Akula, the Hot Swede, and the Hot Mummy
- All the dancing... even the stuff that was kind of gay
- The 1L who nailed his "Laaaaaw Review" character - damn those guys are pompous (ahem)
- Two-joke shows for both Professor's Paulsen and Chen - you'd think I'd feel guilty for writing one of them... but I don't
- "Don't forget about St. Thomas. We had 3 of the top oralists at last year's regional moot court competition, in Vermillion... South Dakota"
- Mob Song - did you see how well the Mummy fit into that menacing crowd... it gives me the jibblies just thinking about it
- Going to Applebee's two nights in a row (one of which was during a honest to gosh bilzzard) - they're nothing like Eatin' Good in the Neighborhood

There were many other moments, but overall it was awesome. I had a blast in T.O.R.T. these past two years... thank you to everyone that helped make that happen.



At 4:27 PM, Anonymous Scotty B. said...

Sounds just like First Light, right down to the Applebee's part. Did you go TP William Mitchell kids' houses afterwards too? Tee hee hee!

At 3:49 PM, Anonymous Bree said...

Man, TORT is awesome. I miss it! I think we need to go back to the Holiday Inn Lounge Bar.

At 2:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha, nice comment for the West Bank Story DVD on Amazon.

At 7:16 PM, Blogger FIRE SUSAN GAINEN said...


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