Readin' The News

I get most of my news from CNN.com (probably not the best news source... but at least it isn't Fox News). Anyway, today's news seemed abnormally deflating (even for the week between Christmas and New Years, a "downer" week as it is).

Dozens Indicted in Alleged Katrina Scam screams the lead story. It seems a bunch of people used Katrina to try and defraud the Red Cross. These people are clearly awesome human beings, but the best part is they did this for less than $10,000 per person. Nothing like abusing a natural disaster for the price of a used Suburu. Call me old-fashioned, but I feel that if you are going to prey on people's good will during a trying time in our country, you had better at least be able to get the price of a new Suburu, or better yet, a war.

Judge Tosses Letterman Restraining Order Oh good... I had wanted to blog on this last week. Some nutzoid woman had gotten a temporary restraining order against David Letterman because she claimed they had a relationship and that Letterman sent her secret messages during his show. Among other things, the T.R.O. required Dave to not "think of me, and release me from his mental harassment and hammering." How were they going to enforce that? But, a sane judge threw it out... my confidence in society is slightly restored.

But wait... NOOOOOOO! "Time to make the doughnuts" actor dies I LOVE that guy. All confidence in a sane world is gone.

And finally, Canada blames the U.S. for its rising gun violence. Sorry, but you should have thought of that when you agreed to join N.A.F.T.A.

"The U.S. is exporting its problem of violence to the streets of Toronto," [an official] said. [He added "Eh?"]

Hey, America only exports what's in demand. It wouldn't be such a big deal if Canadians didn't clearly want to kill each other when they realize they live in Toronto. Guns don't kill Canadians... Hosers kill Canadians.