Less Embarrassing, But Humbling

After last year's incredible display of physical prowess on my part (what with walking for 1/3 of the race and getting passed by people in strolles in the first mile), I did my best to "train" and make a better showing at this year's Race for Justice.

I definitely did better. My time was about 3 1/2 minutes faster, and therefore my pace was more than a minute per mile faster. More importantly, I ran the entire way instead of walking three times (like last year).

However, it was still a humbling experience. People pushing strollers still passed me (but not until mile 3 instead of within the first mile). Ivan Strike-Weaseled his way past me right at the finish line (he has a deceptively good kick). The most humbling fact, a 60 year old woman beat me... but almost a minute (the "Results by Class" is available on the Race for Justice home page). Now, I'm sure this women is in excellent shape, but it still sucks a little.

Oh well, I guess I just need to keep running and come back and beat that woman... then I can totally rub it in her face "Check the race bib. You're in my world now, grandma"

Where the F@&$ Have You Been!

As you have clearly figured out, blogging has been a low priority for me this semester. So, if anyone is still checking back with me I apologize. I hope to post at least a little bit more before graduation... at the very least I have to do my final set of finals pick-up lines, plus the obligatory "what I got out of law school" post.

Last Spring Break Ever

Back at school after my last Spring Break ever. What did I do with this glorious week off from school. Nothing, pretty much. Here were my limited accomplishments.
- Finished and turned in my Minnesota State Bar Application - this was the only thing of any real substance which I did. Huge task. Huge pain in the ass. Huge dent in my wallet (how they charge $100 on top of the $400 bar application "fee" just to let me use my computer to type up the essay portion... that's redonkulous)
- Played poker in Shakopee - Another law student sat at the same table I was at while I was playing. He was reading from a Westlaw printout while playing poker. He goes to Hamline. I tried not to laugh... but it was hard.
- Saw Pan's Labyrinth - it was weird. I spent the whole movie trying to find David Bowie ... and Jennifer Connelly, but neither one was in it. What's up with that?

That's pretty much it. Unless you consider "sleeping in until noon" doing something.

No More TORT... *Sigh*

My second, and last, year of T.O.R.T. ended Saturday after our command performance at the Pantages. As predicted, it was funny, transcendant, and utterly awesome-gasmic. Here is a summary of my favorite moments:

- Anna Pia saying "Frankenlaw, I hear you've got a huuuuuge" [cut off]
- That Mummy, damn he was mesmerizing
- Walter Mondale going off script and getting as big of a laugh as anyone in the show
- The opening medly, which included (among many other great lyrics) "I wish I'd gone to Business School... Then I could be a C.E.O." (to the tune of Jesse's Girl)
- The "Mondale Bash" song... mostly because of the Mummy, did you see his sweet moves?
- "Maybe if he got some he wouldn't be so cranky!"
- Three words: Judith T. Younger
- The Mondale Bash scene, i.e. the one with "Law Students Cannot Dance" (to Time Warp) - that Mummy can sure do a pelvic thrust
- "You can be my Co-Dean anytime." "Bullshit! You can be mine."
- Nate's (i.e. Dr. Frankenlaw's) hair getting progessively crazier
- Seeing someone sing "Sympathy For the Devil" in vampire make-up at a dive karaoke bar in Nordeast
- A mob scene with plastic pitchforks
- The fog machine, and the "Ooooooo... fog machine" reaction it got from T.O.R.T. alumni
- Carmen (Igor) singing "My hump, my hump, my hump... my freakish... ugly... hu-u-u-ump"
- Performing in a theater with actual dressing rooms, instead of the cubby holes at the St. Paul Student Center
- That sexy Mummy, who got more laughs per line than any other character (granted The Mummy had exactly Zero lines, and got one laugh for waving, so the laughs per line = infinity)
- The thrill/panic of coming out on stage, seeing 700+ pairs of eyes watching you (and over 1000 pairs of eyes on Saturday), and thinking "Holy shit... that's a lot of people! It would be really embarrassing to trip right now."
- The foreign exchange students, which include the Wolfperson, Dr. Nikolai Akula, the Hot Swede, and the Hot Mummy
- All the dancing... even the stuff that was kind of gay
- The 1L who nailed his "Laaaaaw Review" character - damn those guys are pompous (ahem)
- Two-joke shows for both Professor's Paulsen and Chen - you'd think I'd feel guilty for writing one of them... but I don't
- "Don't forget about St. Thomas. We had 3 of the top oralists at last year's regional moot court competition, in Vermillion... South Dakota"
- Mob Song - did you see how well the Mummy fit into that menacing crowd... it gives me the jibblies just thinking about it
- Going to Applebee's two nights in a row (one of which was during a honest to gosh bilzzard) - they're nothing like Eatin' Good in the Neighborhood

There were many other moments, but overall it was awesome. I had a blast in T.O.R.T. these past two years... thank you to everyone that helped make that happen.

Come to Frankenlaw!

Hell week has started, which means I will not be reading for class this week wheil we are getting ready for our debut at the Pantages.

More importantly it means: Come see the T.O.R.T. show this weekend! It's awesomely funny... or funnily awesome.

I will be embarrasing myself on both Friday & Saturday. Go here for info on tickets

Whack-a-Doos On the Bus

I had an interesting experience yesterday on the bus. I was just riding along minding my own business, reading my Tax assignment and having as much fun as you can expect to have reading about business deductions,¹ when this guy interrupts me:

Guy On Bus "Excuse me, do you go to The U"²
Me [rolling my eyes, hopefully so Guy On Bus doesn't see] "Um... yeah"
G.O.B. "That's a very intersting subject... Taxation of Individual Income"
Me [Thinking "Tax is certainly *not* a 'very interesting subject'"] "Um... Yeah... It's the best."
G.O.B. "You know there's a very interesting movie that proves that there is no legal basis for the government collecting personal income tax... it's just for corporations."
Me [WTF!] "Really? That's very interesting." [Please be the end of the conversation. Please be the end of the conversation. Please be the end of the conversation.]
G.O.B. "Yes" [FUCK! He's still talking] "this movie is really going to make things interesting"
Me "I'll bet" [I wonder if I shut my eyes, if he'll leave me alone]

I won't bore you with the rest of the conversation, because it went on for too long, and didn't really vary from this theme. Anyway, I decided to do a little research on this movie the guy raving about. It is the movie America: Freedom to Fascism and it is made by the guy who produced Trading Places (which gives him automatic street cred in my book). If you look at the Freedom to Fascism website, it almost looks legit. Almost... But then I found this NY Times Review of the movie

Here are the funniest things that I learned about this "movie" from reading the NY Times article and a few other internet websites:

The director claims that the IRS refuses to point to "the law" that says that we have to pay individual income tax, and moreover that they can't because it "doesn't exist"
- For a debunking of this BS, go here to see that there clearly are laws which authorize personal income tax

Title 26 of the United States Code that the IRS points to is not a law, but a regulation... and "to be a law it has to be passed by Congress." "Mr. Russo added that he had studied the matter closely and was confident that he had the facts."
- This is wrong for so many reasons. First, if it is Title 26 of the United States Code it *is* the law as passed by Congress.
- Second, Even if the director mistook Title 26 of the U.S. Code for Title 26 of the Code of Federal Regulations, the CFR is still legally binding rules which we would have to follow if they are legitimately promulgated.
- Maybe you should have had your lawyer check the facts before you spout off... huh, maybe?

"Not mentioned in the film is that Mr. Russo has more than $2 million of tax liens filed against him by the Internal Revenue Service, California and New York for unpaid federal and state taxes. Mr. Russo declined to discuss the liens, saying they were not relevant to his film."
- Really, you don't think it's relevant that a filmmaker who is making a documentary about the IRS has been accused of owing $2 million in back taxes by the IRS? Not even a little relevant?

And my favorite, the "film's" website says "America: Freedom to Fascism Opened to Standing Ovations at Cannes!"
- But, according to the NY Times article "The film was not on the program at Cannes .... Mr. Russo, the film’s director, writer and producer, just set up an inflatable screen on a beach."
- What?! He just set up a screen on the beach and said it "opened at Cannes!" Wow that's ballsy. Stupid... but ballsy.

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¹Which is of course boatloads of fun ... the entire veritable barrel of freakin' moneys!
²For those of you living outside of Minnesota, "The U" is local slang for "The University of Minnesota"

Any Bets?

Anyone want to start a pool on when Britney will run away from rehab again now that she's back in? Given her recent track record, we'll have to do it in hourly (or perhaps half-hourly) blocks.

I'll take 10-11 pm tonight (that's PST) - a.k.a. the time when she "gets an itching for another drink at the club y'all"

What I Learned on My Long Weekend

Minnesota had a long weekend until Tuesday (we call it the "Mental-Health Break" because we are sick bastards). Here is what I learned this weekend:

Don't Go to Vegas During an All-Star Weekend - Particularly when it is the NBA's All-Star Game. It was crazy busy, and the Strip was crawling with . . . "undesirables" . . . and the smell of weed pervaded every nook and cranny. There was a shooting at the casino across the street from me. Oh yeah, and I lost tons of money. Stupid Vegas.

Don't Get Sick When You're Going to Vegas - Particularly when you are planning on staying up all night when you get there.¹ I had a little tickle in my throat on Saturday morning before we left, by the time we got back Tuesday evening, I had a full blown Emphezema-style cough which now sounds like I have TB. And I lost tons of money.

These are the life lessons you don't get in law school.

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¹And particularly when it is the NBA All-Star Weekend and the Strip is crawling with "undesirables" and the smell of weed will be pervading every nook and cranny.

Whatever

Am I the only person who doesn't care (not even a little bit) that Anna Nicole Smith died? If you look at the lead stories cnn.com, foxnews.com, msnbc.com, usatoday.com and probably trillions of other news sites, apparently I am.

Unreasonable Super Bowl Recap

Was it just me or did the Super Bowl seem a little "eh" last night. The game was OK (obviously if you are an Indy fan, then it was awesome, and if you love Da Bears than it sucked like Rex Grossman under pressure) and the commercials were so-so (although, like always, Bud Light brought a couple good ones, but I can't really think of a commerical that was as awesome as in years past).

The only thing I thought was really good was Prince's halftime show (and I'm totally biased because I'm Paisly Park adjacent up here in Minnesota).¹ Besides the fact that I think Prince is one of the best musicians out there (and I mean "musician" literally, as he can actually play instruments, and better than most people out there), I really liked His Royal Badness's show because he actually played his instrument and actually sang during the show, instead of just lip syncing and pre-recording the instrumentals. It actually looked like a little mini-concert.

Oh well. The Super Bowl can't always be super.

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¹ By the way, to the 1L I overheard this morning saying that Prince was a bad choice for the Halftime Show, and who "turned off" the Halftime Show... you may not want to admit this to potential employers, as this decided lack of judgement may be decimating to your employment prospects).