Sunday, March 27, 2005

How To Lose Credibility In The Eyes Of A Court, A Primer

*Editor's Note I wanted to post this on Friday, but then the whole "I want to live" (or rather "ahhh wah") thing came up, and I wanted to wait and see the outcome.*

Mostly taken from this article:

Step 1: (the "I have credibility" phase): Try to stop your daughter's feeding tube from being removed in a lawsuit, but sadly lose, and appeal it up to the State Supreme Court.
Step 2: (the "It's OK, they're just distressed" stage) - Convince the Governor of the State to overstep his gubenatorial powers and unconstitutionally intervene.
Step 3: (the "Um, this is getting suspicious" stage) - After the Gubenatorial intervention is struck down, and you lose again in court, have Congress unconstitutionally intervene. Bonus points if the President who signs the Congressional intervention is the brother of said Governor.
Step 4: (the "OK, seriously this is getting ridiculous" stage) - After suing in a Federal District Court based on the Congressional intervention and losing, appealing, losing on appeal, appealing to the Supreme Court, and having cert denied by the Supreme Court, then ask the District Court for the exact same thing you were denied before.
Step 5: (the "Come on! Shouldn't their lawyer be disbarred for frivolous litigation by this point?" stage) - After being denied for a second time by the District Court, ask the same District Court, on the next day, for the same thing you asked the first two times; and finally
Step 6: (the "Damn, just when I thought you didn't have any credibility left to lose" stage) - After every court you've been before doesn't do what you want (for a total of 23 negative decisions), say that all of those judges are joining forces in a "crusade to kill" your daugther.

Alright, I hope this is the last thing I post about the Schivo case, but I just can't believe this. I have sympathy for Schiavo's parents, I really do. But right now, they are really being selfish, in my opinion. By this point, they are just trying to keep Ms. Schiavo's body alive for their own peace of mind. *Note: By this point, with the parent's withdrawing somewhat gracefully, I don't really feel this way anymore (remember I wrote this on Friday), but I still can't believe the father made this comment*

Also, there was a column in the Minneapolis Star Tribune last week that I thought made a good argument. If Schiavo's parents are such strong christians, why are the keeping Terri out of heaven? She is brain-dead, which means her ability to enjoy her life here on earth is over. Why would you be so selfish as to keep her out of what you believe is paradise?

OK, no mas Schiavo! I have my final draft of my appellate brief for legal writing due on Monday, so there will probably be radio silence over the weekend... but in exchange for putting up with all this seriousness, I will try to write something extra silly, imature, and stupid on Monday or Tuesday. Unreasonable Man OUT!


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