Thursday, May 13, 2004

Front Page News?

Apparently, and I say apparently because I don't watch the show and don't give a shit about its outcome, another "diva" has been voted out of American Idol. I guess if you are a fan of the show, or a fan of pop culture, this is news you would want to read. The thing is, I found the link to the article on the opening page of CNN.com. Which, to me, begs the question... with all that is going on in the world, what with prisoner abuse, Americans being beheaded in the streets, and Rummy taking a trip to Iraq, is a girl who can only be marginally talented anyway1 getting voted off a TV show that is almost single-handedly making our country dumber really front page news? REALLY? I can just picture the meeting behind the story:

[Scene begins with a Low Level Lackey talking to his friend at the water cooler2]
Low Level Lackey: "Yeah, so I was watching American Idol last night, and they actually voted La Toya London off"
CNN.com Editor [listening in]: "WHAT?! I missed last night's show. They voted off another one of 'The Three Divas?' What is this world coming to? Let's put it on the front page!"
Lackey: "But sir what about the story of Rumsfeld going to Baghdad to try and quench the effects of the prison abuse scandal?"
Editor: "Bah! This is AT LEAST as important as the war in Iraq... I mean we're talking about the Idol... THE IDOL... AMERICAN IDOL! You don't hate America, do you Johnson?"
Lackey [fearing for his job]: "No sir... I just don't think this is really front page news"
Editor: "Never mind you... I'll do it my self. [to the HTML Coders] STOP THE PRESSES!... er INTERNET!... er... you geeks just get a story about American Idol on the front page. We desperately need to appear 'hip' and 'with it' to the younger crowd!"
HTML Coder: "The American public wouldn't know 'hip' if it bit them on their motherboard. That's why 'Firefly' never caught on."
Editor: "But it's got Paula Abdul. What's more hip than that. Remember 'Forever Your Girl'? What about 'Opposites Attract'? The video had her dancing with a cartoon wolf. That's cool, right? And Randy Jackson is a loud black guy who says 'Dog,' I mean... isn't that how the kids talk these days?"
[Scene ends as HTML Coder and Editor get into a huge argument over what "hip" really is... sadly, neither of them are right]


1I mean, if she was so great, wouldn't she be a star already... or at least singing in airport lounges?
2Do they still have water coolers?... all right, over a Starbucks Venti Macchiato with low fat steamed soy milk

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