Wednesday, May 05, 2004

I'll Be Damned... I Guess Science Is Wrong

At Dinosaur Adventure Land [a Christian creationism based theme park in Florida], visitors can make their own Grand Canyon replica with sand and read a sign deriding textbooks for teaching that the Colorado River formed the canyon over millions of years: "This is clearly not possible. The top of the Grand Canyon is 4,000 feet higher than where the river enters the canyon! Rivers do not flow up hill!"
- from this New York Times article (Thanks to Musclehead for finding the article)
Der, I don't know, may the Colorado river was 4,000 feet higher millions of years ago, but has since eroded away the canyon. It seems to me if you are going to "deride" scientific theory, you should at least undermine the basic concept (i.e. that the river slowly cut through the rock to form the canyon) instead of pointing to a fact that does nothing to undermine the theory except to confuse stupid rednecks.

I do not understand how there is still a debate between creationism and evolutionists. It's not like the theories are mutually exclusive... except that creationists think the earth was created 6,000 years ago instead of several billion. It's like the creationists have never heard of hyperbole as a literary device.
Anyway, here are some other good quotes from the article.

"'There are a lot of creationists that are really smart and debate the intellectuals, but the kids are bored after five minutes,' said Mr. Hovind [creator (bad pun intended) of Dinosaur Adventure Land], who looks boyish at 51 and talks fast. "You're missing 98 percent of the population if you only go the intellectual route." (Emphasis Added)

"Dan Johnson, an assistant manager of the park, said there were also creationism-themed cruises, with lectures on the subject amid swimming and shuffleboard." (Emphasis Added) (And that , Grandma Bobbi Sue, is why on the 6th day, God created shuffleboard so he could relax on the 7th day)

"Ken Ham, the group's chief executive, said marketing surveys suggested that the complex would draw not just home-schooling families and other creationists, but mainstream church groups and curiosity seekers" (Emphasis Added) ("Well, Billy Bob, that's why we teach you at home and go to Dinosaur Adventure Land for our vacation, because the public 'schools' and Disney World hate you and want you to go to hell")

"There are no mechanized rides at Dinosaur Adventure Land -— no creationist-themed roller coasters, scramblers or even a ferris wheel -— but instead, a simple discovery center and museum and about a dozen outdoor games, each of which has a 'science lesson' and 'spiritual lesson' posted nearby... Take Jumpasaurus, which involves jumping on a trampoline while trying to throw a ball through a hoop as many times as possible in a minute. The science lesson: 'You will use coordination in this game, which means you will be doing more than one thing at once.' The spiritual lesson, according to Mr. Johnson: 'You need to learn to be coordinated for Jesus Christ so you can get more things done for him.'"

"Somewhat more creationist in approach is the Nerve-Wracking Ball: a bowling ball on a rope, dangling from a tall tree branch. A child stands before the ball, and then a park guide gives it a shove from a specific angle, so that it comes careering back at the child's face only to stop just in front of it. The child wins if he does not flinch, proving he has 'faith in God's laws' -— in this case, that a swinging object will never come back higher than the point from which it took off" (what do you tell the kid who leaned forward a little bit and got smacked in the face... "I'm sorry Cletus, I guess God is angry at you")

"According to a map that invites visitors [of Dinosaur Adventure Land] to pinpoint their hometown, most come from the Florida Panhandle and from Alabama, Mississippi and Tennessee" (well SUR-PRISE, SUR-PRISE, SUR-PRISE... with attendees from the "Science Belt," how can we doubt the authenticity of the park).

I just love how the NY Times throws in all these subtle shots at the "theories" of some of these whack jobs, while still "reporting" on the news.


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