Saturday, April 29, 2006

Lame Law School Pick-Up Lines: In this Episode, Trademarks

Not my best showing, but here are the first installment of this year's Finals Pick-Up Lines. Feel free to enjoy last year's as well as they are chock full of 1L goodness:1

"You have created a zone of natural expansion... in my jockey shorts."

"Your picture has become generic for 'hot.'"

"I was going to register the trademark HUGE for my *ahem*, but the application was denied because it was 'merely descriptive'"2

"Your trade dress looks smokin'... it would look even better crumpled up on my bedroom floor."

"I'd like to penetrate your market."

"Your aesthetic functionality makes it impossible for other girls to compete in the market for my heart."

"Does Angelina Jolie know you're infringing on her persona? Becuase there's a liklihood of confusion that you're as hot as her."

1 I am still particularly fond of "Hey baby... I want to put us in horizontal privity of estate."
2If you don't know trademark law, I assure you this is funny... well, maybe not "assure." Basically, the gist is if a mark is actually dscriptive of the product it is attached to (in the pick-up line, it would be my junk), then it is not protectable. I guess if you have to explain the joke it isn't that funny.


At 3:15 PM, Anonymous dq said...

No, it's still funny...or maybe I've just be studying conflicts for too many hours in a row, so anything else is funny. :)

At 11:09 AM, Anonymous Professor Schwarzenegger said...

Hmmm. I'm guessing single and staying that way.

At 1:16 PM, Blogger Unreasonable Man said...


Me, I already have a wife... which is why my playa skillz are, shall we say, less than fully developed.

At 2:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The fact that you footnote your posts is embarrassing to all of us.

At 8:10 AM, Blogger Unreasonable Man said...

The fact that you are the most unoriginal criticizer is pathetic. Also, don't think I don't know who you are. You may be too cowardly to not comment anonymously, but tracking software doesn't lie.

At 3:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus, what's with all the haters? Just so you know, I like your posts, and I like the footnotes. Just ignore the trolls.

At 8:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Relax, nobody is insulting you. Just putting it out there.

At 5:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, there are a lot of cowards here. We should all post our names. Unreasonable Man, what's your full name?

At 7:10 PM, Blogger Unreasonable Man said...

There's a little bit of a difference. First, other than using a fake name, I don't try to hide who I am. Consequently, tons of people know who I am. It's not exactly hard to figure out. There are only so many 2Ls at Minnesota who are former patent agents, were on the musical this year, are married, are on law review, are one of the people in charge of the petition this year, and were president of a student group this past year.

Second, you seem to have failed to recognize that you're already at my blog, i.e. my home or face on the internet. So just because you don't know my name, doesn't me you don't know "where to find me." You're still challenging me "to my face," while I can't do the same because I usually just don't know who "Anonymous" is.

In contrast, all I know about you and your fellow commentors is that you are too lazy or scared to click the "Other" button and come up with even a passable pseudonym. If you're here, presumably you're a law student... at least argue like one.

Thanks for playing.

At 8:13 AM, Anonymous Jim Chen said...

Seriously, what's with all the haters? Don't they realize that that Unreasonable Man has an esteemed Iowa State degree and marginal law school grades? That alone should intimidate them!

At 6:02 PM, Blogger some guy said...

UR, we can't win. Usually I ignore the losers because they still behave like they did when they were 9 years old. Once they realize that their name-calling doesn't actually get a rise out of you, they'll go away.


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