Monday, March 06, 2006

While We've Tried To Entertain, Our Grades Have Gone Down The Draaaaaaain!


It's over! The T.O.R.T. musical is over! Very fun week... but I am so exhausted, and so far behind in my class reading that it will probably take me a week or so (plus spring break) to get back on track.

Highlights of West Bank Story from this cast-member's perspective:
- U.S. Dist. Court Judge John Tunheim ad libbing the line from "I'm a District Court Judge, I can do whatever I want" to "I'm an activist judge, I can do whatever I want"
- "As long as my sister is sexually gratified, you have my blessing" instead of the actual line "As long as my sister is happy..."
- The director yelling at the cast and crew for being drunk during Saturday's matinee
- "How do you feel about your answer now, Mr. Dumbass?" - "I Feel Shitty" was probably one of the funniest songs in the show
- Professor Younger whipping out a Pabst Blue Ribbon during her scene on Saturday, thereby making it nearly impossible for the cast to refrain from laughing while on stage
- "And I said 'No Dean Keyes, your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.'"
- Firooz and every performance of "No 1L, No Cry" discussing The Case of Thorns "This song of a bitch, he dropped my branches. Now I'm so confused."
- Knowing that Trevor would "Do Anything For Law ... as long as two dudes can't be honeys!"
- Minnesota Attorney General Mike Hatch screwing his lines up royally. You would think a politician could memorize lines better... especially one who is running for governor.
- And finally, some of my classmates actually telling me they voted for me to be Head Writer next year, despite the fact that Kirby "I wrote West Bank Story" Peterson ran again, because they liked my idea better. I still won't win, but it was nice that people liked my idea.

It was a blast. Now I have to dig my way out of a mountain of reading. Caffeine will be involved.

38 Comments:

At 10:25 AM, Blogger Ivan Ludmer said...

It was a blast to watch, too. Great job.

 
At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was fantastic. Not quite as fanstastic as Wizard of Fritz, but I'm biased. Very good. Kudos.

 
At 1:32 PM, Anonymous DQ said...

Even if you don't get head writer, you ABSOLUTELY should be on the writing committee. I think Ethan ran for head writer last year, and didn't get it, but still wrote many of my favorite lines in the show.

 
At 4:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, Harry Potter and the Order of the Coif was one of the ideas that was rejected last year in favor of a more traditional musical that wouldn't alienate older viewers. And I can't believe you thought Kirby "I Wrote West Bank Story" Petersen was seriously suggesting a musical law school version of Hamlet. She's way funnier than that.

 
At 5:21 PM, Blogger Unreasonable Man said...

Actually (way to start off sounding snotty) Anonymous 2 (by the way, I'm getting really sick of people not using a name when they comment... how hard is it to clik on the "Other" button... DQ did it, you can too), I know Harry Potter was under consideration for this year's show, but that doesn't detract from the fact that I thought of it independently. Also, if the real reason they rejected it was fear of alienating older viewers, then that's a pretty crappy reason. 1) How exactly does Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or Star Wars relate better to older viewers; 2) Since when has Harry Potter been limited to young people? I'm 27 and I love Harry Potter. My Mom is almost 60. She loves Harry Potter. My grandmother is 90, and she loves Harry Potter. As far as I can tell, Harry Potter has more universal appeal right now than West Side Story. 3) There are many aspects of this year's show that probably didn't resonate with "older viewers" (the numerous sexual references come to mind). 4) Even if Harry Potter does appeal more to younger viewers, why should we alienate younger viewers? This is supposed to be a show for students more than older viewers anyway.

Also, I wasn't referring to Kirby's "idea" of doing a musical Hamlet. That was clearly a joke (and a funny joke too) referring to the fact that West Side Story is a musical version of Romeo & Juliet. I was referring to the "My Legal Lady" idea which she said they had started writing.

Clearly, anonymous, you voted for Kirby. That's fine. You didn't vote poorly. I think Kirby is very funny. I wouldn't have said she was "such a strong incumbant" if I thought she wasn't. But, I also think that I could write a pretty good show (which is why I ran). And my Harry Potter theme goes beyond a title... but I figured it was late enough after the show (and I was going to lose to Kirby anyway) that people didn't want me to go on for more than about 30 seconds talking about my ideas.

 
At 6:24 PM, Anonymous A different person said...

People relate to familiar things. Willy Wonka came out in 1971. Star Wars came out in 1977. Harry Potter came out in 2001. Old people (and I'd imagine most people over 5) are better acquanted with movies that have been part of the national consciousness for a long time than a short time.

 
At 7:30 PM, Blogger Unreasonable Man said...

You'd kind of have to have been living under a rock to not know about Harry Potter, whereas I doubt "My Fair Lady" has nearly as much appeal (despite how fun it is to say "The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly On The Plain" with a cockny accent). My point was saying that Harry Potter won't appeal to "older" people is just silly. A stronger argument is that it would be harder to make into a musical.

By the way... thanks for at least putting a fake name down, so if you respond again I can know its you and not a different anonymous person. And Harry Potter came out in 1997 (at least according to my copy of HP and the Sorceror's Stone).

 
At 11:07 PM, Anonymous A different person said...

The movie, not the book. And even people who haven't seen Willy Wonka or Star Wars know the basic plot because it's already been referenced so many times. Kind of like Psycho. Harry Potter doesn't have that status

 
At 11:47 PM, Anonymous slightlybiasedphetz said...

seriously, lets stop debating harry potter, its never going to happen, at least not this next year, and the following year you'll have graduated and wont care. i know you hate the idea of the idea of "i could have racked all night, i could have racked all night, and still have still have cite checked more..." love it, get on the cockney bus. mwah

 
At 1:14 AM, Anonymous Bree said...

I voted for Carmen, because she's hilarious, but I must admit your idea almost made me cross her name out. So there's that.

But yes, the show was fabulous. And the ENTIRE crew wasn't drunk...just most of them.

 
At 1:54 AM, Anonymous shaheen said...

how do i get on the writing commitee? i'm thinking scarface meets boys in the hood, meets menace II society with music inspired by the motion picture that is juice. great job unreasonable man.

 
At 8:58 AM, Anonymous DQ said...

Not to bring it back up, but Harry Potter was, I recall, rejected more because it was so open-ended and not because we thought it wouldn't appeal to older people. It still was a finalist, and (I think) a good idea. I personally LOVE "My Fair Lady," but I think whatever it is will be hilarious. It all hinges on the writing - a good premise/plot just helps. I'm still lobbying for "The Music Man," but I'm going to have to let it go.

 
At 10:14 AM, Blogger Unreasonable Man said...

DQ - I think that is much better reason for not doing HP. Although, to me the fact that it is so open ended is a benefit because it gives you so many options and so much material to work with.

Also, I like The Music Man better than My Fair Lady for a law school musical. But, that might just be because I think "Marian the Librarian" could be a great song for the musical (turning it into song about 1Ls doing legal research for their Brief).

 
At 11:28 AM, Anonymous Ashley said...

I'm just a lowly T.O.R.T. fan and not a participant, but I have to say that I'm not too excited about the idea of another old musical being the basis for next year's show. Texas made their musical this year a take off on The Big Lebowski, and I thought that sounded more appropriate for 20 and 30-something law students (and inherently more funny). Because really, aren't we, the students, your core audience? Who cares if the old people get it? Or are you that desperate for funding that you need to get the partners at the firms on board?

 
At 3:54 PM, Anonymous ChuckBarris said...

I enjoyed TORT this year, but by any objective measure it was nowhere near as good as last year. And it was not a matter of the talent of actors, everybody was great. The writing was what was worse. Last year's script was much funnier and the dialogue flowed better. The characters From Wlater Wonka were more interesting and better written as well. This year's show had too many jokes that fell flat (there were many more moments this year where I said: "ya know, that's really not funny at all"), a couple of "cheap laugh" jokes ("I'm from Brooklyn Center" The comedians they pulled off the street for the old Gong Show wrote better stuff than that), and one raunchy joke that I thought was way over the line, and not even funny at that.

Also, West Side Story was a bad choice b/c the tempo of the music made it difficult to understand the alternative lyrics to the music. For Example most of the lyrics of the "Big Law Firm" number were unintelligible. Other songs experienced some of the same problems.

I appreciate how these things are difficult to write, but given this year's production, it makes no sense to just write off non-incumbents. What's wrong with getting some fresh ideas and new people in there for next year? You can pooh-pooh the idea of a non-musical if you want, but an objective view of this year's production reveals its own issues that should be improved for next year.

 
At 6:03 PM, Blogger Gopher-Goof said...

Whatever the subject, I'm sure it will be good. Each year TORT finds a way to out-do itself.

A West Bank Story was a top-notch production all the way around. Everyone involved should be very proud.

I'm throwing up a link on my blog to the Unreasonable Man, and would appreciate the same if you find my blog meets your standards.

 
At 6:23 PM, Anonymous TORT-er said...

I was a 1L in the musical this year, so obviously I didn't get to see last year's show. I was so impressed with how hard everyone worked, how much they sacrificed (like their sanity this past week) that it kind of makes me sad that people are criticizing it so much. I'm sure Unreasonable Man will be a great writer whether he is the head writer or is on the writing team. Kirby did a great job, and I can't imagine the task of spinning that kind of creative writing out of thin air. Maybe every joke didn't get a laugh every night (well, except Saturday night, that was great), but it was still funny and awesome considering how much else we have going on in our lives. I guess it's just a sign that the show must be getting good that after only 4 years, so much is expected. I just wanted to say that I thought everyone involved was phenomenal.

 
At 7:07 PM, Anonymous The Lord of the Musical said...

“Lots of classes for me to take/lots of answers for me to fake/no food, no sleep, no sex/isn’t it a misery, a misery, a misery.”

Sorry guys, it’s too late not to do My Legal Lady. You shouldn’t have voted Kirby and me onto the board. It’s my fault, really. I’m a sucker for musicals based on plays by great British playwrights.

Unless of course I can get the board behind The Advocate of the Briefcase:

“3 briefcases for the Elvin lawyers under the sky
7 briefcases for the dwarf litigants, in their halls of stone
9 briefcases for mortal men doomed to die,
1 ring for the dark lord, in Mondale Hall, where shadows lie.”

 
At 7:08 PM, Anonymous The Lord of the Musical said...

I meant 1 briefcase for the dark lord, in Mondale Hall, where shadows lie.

 
At 7:12 PM, Anonymous The Lord of the Musical said...

and you have to imagine Scott Hoffman saying that.

 
At 7:17 PM, Blogger Unreasonable Man said...

Ethan (I'm assuming that's you)... you really have to plan out your whole comment before hitting enter.

Anyway... I think a LOTR theme would be funny, but I think it'd be better with "One Outline to Rule Them All" instead of "One Briefcase"

 
At 7:30 PM, Anonymous The Lord of the Musical said...

Of course it's me! And you are right, I have to plan out my whole post and "one outline to rule them all" is better.

Who wrote the post about how bad the writing was this year? No part for you.

 
At 7:31 PM, Anonymous The Lord of the Musical said...

next year.

 
At 8:22 PM, Blogger Decime said...

If you do do a LOTR theme, I hope you get the rhyme and rhythm right. It's ABABA, so it would have to go something like...

“3 briefcases for the Elven lawyers under the sky,
7 for the dwarf-litigants in their halls of stone,
9 for mortal men doomed to die,
1 for the Dark Lord, on his cellphone
In Mondale Hall, where the Shadows lie.”

I'm just saying.

 
At 8:49 PM, Anonymous Tort-er said...

Oh! I forgot to add something important! The reason I liked being in the musical the most? The cute guys! Let me tell you- the eye candy was great! (and no, I'm not telling you who all was cute!) :)

 
At 10:50 PM, Anonymous DQ said...

Does anyone think Tort-er isn't talking about Pro Bono? I know the pencil-snapping thing was swoon-worthy...

 
At 9:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How Tort-er couldn't be talking about Pro Bono, I don't know...with eyeliner...yum.

But of course, he was not the only one.

 
At 10:59 AM, Anonymous Tort-er said...

(Sorry if this posts twice- stupid law school internet!!) Well, of course Pro-Bono was on the list! I had to control myself from swooning right off stage. But, I'd say there were about 4 or 5 other guys I didn't mind looking at every night as well. But now I'm just oversharing!

 
At 5:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man, yes Tort-er! Let's see...

Tony
(The) Riff
Pro Bono
Bernard
Dockers
Firooz
that 1L with the red hair (I did not like redheads before this production...)
Bix
Krupke

...and did anyone else think Judge Tundheim was hot?

 
At 6:35 PM, Anonymous Tort-er said...

It's like you read my mind! (and the mind of any girl with a pulse) Let's hear it for the hottie cast! P.S. I'm sorry Unreasonable Man for turning your blog into a boy-fest, but it's sort of on topic. And it needed to be said!

 
At 3:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ohhhhh, but I completely forgot the band...Nathan...James...

 
At 2:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about the girls???

 
At 6:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Confidence is sexy, and if you have the cajones to be in a law school musical - the height of dorkdom - then you must have some massive confidence glands.

 
At 6:49 PM, Anonymous Wally Potter said...

As for the girls, Kara Wickliffe is the hottest woman in the cast. Bar none.

 
At 12:47 AM, Anonymous person said...

Kara is great, but it's mean to exclude the other hot 1L girls. they are a great class. Ok i think this thread needs to stop so we don't have to embarass and degrade great girls. Every 1L is hot.

 
At 1:03 AM, Anonymous another person said...

Every single girl was hot. Yup.

 
At 12:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why hasn't MJF been mentioned yet? She was the hottest girl by far.

Hi Elizabeth. I know you're reading this.

 
At 9:57 AM, Anonymous Be bopa loo la said...

The law school has the zoobook so you can research all the hotties' names. TORT has the playbill for the same purpose.

Plus, you have ready made pickup lines when you approach TORTers: "Hey, baby, you were fantastic in the musical."

 

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