Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Bad Blogger!

I got yelled at by the head choreographer1 of the Musical on Monday night for not posting for almost a week (and now it has been a week) because she didn't have enough to do in class (or something along those lines). Being sufficiently chastised, I promised to post soon. Oops! Still haven't posted for two days. Sorry DQ! And then, today Next-Door Jen2 told me she needed more to read at work, and that I needed to post more.3

The biggest reason I haven't been posting is because I just haven't really experienced anything that has inspired me to blog about (and that includes Veep shooting a 78-year-old "friend" in the face, as hilarious as it is). I'm too busy because this is my busiest semester ever4 and I've been stressed out.

But, in an effort to satisfy DQ, Jen, and my legions of other fans fan, I will post about one thing that struck me as funny. Yesterday, being Valentine's Day, is apparently a big holiday for the Law Students for Choice5 so they handed out candy, condoms, and a list of "interesting" facts that are in no way related to Valentine's Day, and certainly not to romance. Here are some of the facts, followed by my immediate reactions to each:
- A Texas Law makes it illegal for woman to own more than six sex toys - [UM Thoughts: Why in the world do you need six sex toys all at the same time? Are they enforcing this law? What about men? Can we have 23 dildos, four butt plugs, three cock rings, two french ticklers, and a partridge in a pear tree, but women have to limit their inventory to only two vibrators, two dildos, and two miscellaneous? How does that square with the Equal Protection Clause? Why do I think about this kind of thing?]
- One in Nine people has an STD - [UM Thoughts: You have a better than 10% chance that your partner has chlamydia or some other genital shrivling disease. Happy Valentine's Day Everybody!]
- It's much easier for women to catch STDs as it is for men - [UM Thoughts: "Honey, I know I just said that there's a 10% chance that I have an STD... but that's balanced by the fact that you are much more likely to catch syphilis from me that I am to catch the clap from you. So do you wanna?"]
- Condoms are the only contraception that help protect against sexually transmitted diseases - [UM Thoughts: Sure, but they can't stop crabs. Hmm. This post seems to have deteriorated into a VD-fest. I can't wait to see what Google searches will find this post. "Unreasonable Man has the clap" or "you'll get crabs at the University of Minnesota Law School." Awesome]

1 Who shall hereinafter be known as "the Dancing Queen" or simply DQ, not to be confused with Dairy Queen and their yummy ice-cream treats.... Mmmmm Blizzard.
2 So named because she was in my section last year, and her last name is close, alphabetically, to mine, so we sat next to each other in approximately 6,000 classes last year, and she is now my Next Door Neighbor in Corporations.
3 If I were a more responsible person, my advice to Jen would be to focus her attention at work at... oh, I don't know... work. However, I can't say that I've never been known to have a wondering mind at work, so I won't.
4 At least it *feels* like my busiest semester ever. But, that could just be because it is my *current* semester... so far, every semester has felt like my busiest (except for last Spring, which didn't seem that busy, for some reason). However, this one really, *really* is my busiest semester.
5 The connection apparently being that V Day is romantic, romance leads to sex, sex leads to pregnancy, pregancy leads to abortion, and they want to keep abortions legal... makes sense to me, NOT!


At 12:38 PM, Anonymous Jen said...

Thanks, UM, I was sufficiently entertained at work, and especially riveted by your discussion of VD (VD = Valentine's Day...coincidence?). And trust me, I try to focus my attention on work, but that requires having something to do...

At 1:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sigh...being pro-choice is not just about abortion!

At 9:12 PM, Blogger he who is known as sefton said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 10:00 AM, Blogger Unreasonable Man said...

Anonymous... Actually, by definition, being pro-choice is about abortion (or at least about still having abortion as a choice). Pro-Choice groups may be about more than just abortion, but "Pro-choice" itself really isn't. And I don't know if you read this blog regularly, but I am very pro-choice.

Anyway, I think you're missing the whole point of the post (which, after all, was just a joke) and focusing on one footnote.

Oh, and "Sefton," and anyone else, if you comment has nothing to do with the post, it will get deleted.

Quote the Strong Bad: "DELETED!"

At 12:13 AM, Blogger biff said...

I think if a man used 4 butt plugs and 3 cock rings at the same time, he would explode.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home